If you are unfortunate enough to develop the rather rare medical condition known as 'Bonus Disparus' the symptoms of which manifest in an inability to obtain an erection, how quickly would you become aware of the condition?

(a) Immediately.
(b) Within a few hours.
(c) Within a day or so.
(d) In a few days.
(e) In about a week.
(f) After several weeks.
(g) Never.

If you answered (a) then get your hands out of your trousers and do something useful with yourself, without handling your pecker.

If you answered (b) then you are probably fairly normal.

If you answered (c) then you should probably stop sleeping on your back, it may prevent you waking up each morning with an unwieldy erection.

If you answered (d) then you should spend less time at work, and get out more. Or look at more of the pictures instead of reading the text in 'girlie' magazines. Or stay up later than your wife and watch the films she says are just 'filth'

If you answered (e) then you don't take a bath/shower often enough and you are spending too much time cleaning the wrong bits.

If you answered (f) then your underpants really are far too tight, and you must remember to take them off at nights.

If you answered (g) then you should make an appointment to see your doctor immediately, and complain that the operation was not a complete success because the most important part still hasn't stood up to his claims.