Some very personal problems visitors have sent to us are of an intimate nature. If you are of a shy, nervous nature, please leave while your pants are still clean
NOTE FOR THE VERY DIM. Although every question on these VERY PERSONAL PROBLEMS pages is a genuine plea for help from some desperately sad tosser, our witty, literate answers are entirely satirical and NOT to be taken seriously! What do you mean 'not to be taken seriously?' Do you mean you're deliberately taking the piss out of people with very personal problems? We might be.. You heartless bitches! Look, we didn't ask the clueless wankers to write to us, did we? No...but— But what? Well...some of these people need HELP?! I'll say; so why are they writing to a site called 'Utterpants'? Where does it say that? At the top of every page on the site in letters an inch high. Couldn't you make it a bit more obvious? Well—we could, but then the desperately sad tossers might not write to us. Would that be a bad thing? Not for them, obviously. But we'd be well gutted. Why's that? Well, we couldn't take the piss out of the desperately sad tossers and their VERY PERSONAL PROBLEMS, could we?
Jenna asks: Why is he so spineless?
Taylor asks: Should I just wait for him to like me?
Carmen asks: I have little bumps on my clitoris
Larissa asks: I just got asked by a guy if my pussy was pink
Kayleigh asks: My mates all call me a fat freak
Jim asks: I have a problem with my erection
Rhiannon asks: I really need some help in masturbation
Tynky Wynky asks: My pussy is itchy and there's some white stuff around it
Rakanesha asks: I just feel used. What should I do?
Jessica asks: I'm so depressed. My boyfriend is holding me back
Craig asks: When I'm having a wank it's over too quickly
Sam asks: Is it normal to lick me mum's knickers?
Jules asks: My husband spanking me panties down turns me on
Neecy asks again: My boyfriend wants to have sex every night
Becki asks: mi bf sniffed coke n i sed choose coke or me
Terry asks: I've recently had sex for the first time...
Laura asks: How do I make him cum faster?
Helen asks: I am really turned on by wetting my panties
Sachiel asks: I can't give my girlfriend an orgasm
Carole asks: My husband is thinking of paying for sex
Another Emma asks: I REALLY LIKE this boy in 6th grade
Nina asks: My little pussy is so lonely, what can I do?
Freddie asks: A girl keeps making excuses when I ask her out!
Jack asks: She's hurting me so much, what should I do?
Problems added 22nd December 2005. © utterpants.co.uk
FOR THE VERY DIM. Our Problem Pages are a satirical parody and not to be taken seriously