Very Private Hobbit Diary 2
The unexpurgated Diary of a very disturbed Hobbit...
14th Halimath, SR 1409
Friday, 16th Halimath, SR 1409
Hung around school all afternoon looking at girls playing hockey in
v.short skirts until Poppy came out. Apologised for neglecting her and
told her Snowdrop meant nothing to me and had humiliated me out of jealousy.
Worked a treat! Took her into Gaffer Spongee's tool shed. All over me
like hot rash.
Saturday, 17th Halimath, SR 1409
Sunday, 18th Halimath, SR 1409
Locked elf in privy with Gaffer Spongee's prize bull.
Couldn't get ring as Randolf in study all day.
Avoided emptying another of Randolf's carts by offering to decorate Party field.
Put up the beer tent with Jam Spongee and Perry. Then Rory and I offered
to help Rosie gather mushrooms for tea. Rosie needed no persuading to
drop her pants but farting such big turn off.
Monday, 19th Halimath, SR 1409
Couldn't get ring again. Need ring badly. Am overdoing it? Is ring evil? Don't care, never had so much fun. Invisible shagging sooo cool!
Bumped into Snowdrop outside Post Office while collecting uncle Bingo's
Pervy elf left at lunchtime in ambulance. Bull followed it all the way to Bywater.
Tried to get ring after tea to pay visit to Primula Randybuck but Randolf
still in study. No shag today.
Decided to get pissed and stood Snowdrop up.
Tuesday, 20th Halimath, SR 1409
Snowdrop called twice in morning. Pretended to be out.
Went round to Perry's hole. Waited til Poppy asleep. Then got in bed beside her. Slipped ring on and off a few times to convince her she was dreaming. Are all schoolgirls this HOT?
Still so randy kept ring on all the way to No.8 and shagged Primula senseless.
The went back to Poppy's and spent all night with her. Showed me some tricks I hadn't thought of. Now sure Rory's had her.
Got back to hole at 2am and had to hang about in draughty privy until 3am when Randolf went to bed. I think I might be overdoing it a bit. Is ring to blame? Am I turning into sex perve? Don't care. Never had so much fun with trousers off.
Wizard gave me a very queer look at breakfast and said the ingenuity of Robbits never ceased to amaze him. What does he mean? How much does he know?
Wednesday, 21st Halimath, SR 1409
No chance to get ring as Randolf following me around all day on pretext of supervising Party preparations.
Went to 'Blue Tit' to watch Dwarf tossing. On way home bumped into Snowdrop and Randolf walking hand in hand down Bag lane. She pretended not to know me. Very queer.
Thursday, 22nd Halimath, SR 1409
Bloody dwarves leaving at last.
Watched fireworks with Rory and Perry.
Lit fire crackers under two really fat dwarves and got really rat-arsed
on uncle Bingo's best sherry. Then shagged Rosie.
Sobered up and had Clara from behind, behind the soup tent.
Poppy so pleased to see me in flesh that she had pants off before I
could ask her about wet dreams.
The danced with Snowdrop. Tried to feel her up but slapped me and told me to stick to schoolgirls.
So got pissed again and banged Poppy some more.
Fell asleep listening to uncle Bingo's speech but woke up smartish when silly fart put on ring and vanished!
Took Primula roughly from behind, behind the beer tent.
Walked Poppy home and had her again up against her Dad's bike shed.
Ring makes me SOoo HOT. Could something this good be evil?
Friday, 23rd Halimath, SR 1409
Was dead right about nosey Wizard. Gave me right bollocking about ring
after breakfast. Knows everything!
Gave me funny drink in blue bottle that knocked me out.
When I woke up was teatime and Randolf dropped real bombshell: "I've
told Snowdrop all about the ring, Fido, my lad, and what you've been
using it for all these years!"
Had to kick Sackville-Fagginses out of hole.
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