Heat wave road chaos
LONDON — accidents rise as motorists struggle to cope with soaring temperatures

Cherie in plot to kill Tony Blair shock
Buxom barrister accused of trying to bump off the source of her frustration

Grave Cemetery Plot uncovered
Vicar denounces Church campaign to promote cremation as cynical smokescreen

Woman misses Lotto Jackpot
A woman who failed to scoop a double jackpot is considering quitting playing the Lottery

UK gets tough on chat room child abusers
Game over for the shameless cyber criminals who prey on vulnerable pensioners..

Prince Harry to convert to Judaism
Palace announce that the fun-loving prankster is to convert to Judaism

Man disguised himself as Penis
Bunny boiling no longer the coolest way for jilted lovers to get even..

Streaker foiled before he could dress
A would-be streaker at theNude Croquet World Cup, brought the match to a halt today

UK to curb dangerous pets
Our vulnerable kiddies to be protected from dangerous household pets

Bricklayer hits the Jackpot
Bricklayer who suffered appalling injuries awarded over £2 million in damages

Chancellor issues Easter credit warning
A stern warning to the country's debt-ridden families. Egg on faces, gutted kiddies, etc.,

Internet is safe for kids says Mum
Essex mum hits out 'Net Nannies.' Teens squeal with delight, rush into chat rooms, etc.,

Mystery man steals Christmas Presents
Ruthless thief uses the bonhomie of the festive season to ripoff wealthy residents

Mad German tries to ban Santa Claus
Fat, bearded old git scares little kiddies to death

Santa to come twice this Christmas
Big Fella promises to come twice this Christmas. Women rejoice

Santas Sacked: Kids Gutted
Fears of an epidemic of kiddie-fiddling sweeps Britain's Festive High Streets

Banks issue Christmas spending warning
UK families risk ruinous Christmas as a result of poor financial planning

Christmas Sex Party Warning
Female staff urged not to dance on tables or photocopy parts of their body

Royal Sex Scandal rocks Britain!
Unknown woman accused of unspecified acts with unnamed Royal prick

Church bashes Gay Bishop!
Popular gay, rug-smoking Bishop to be ousted in a moral backlash