|Streaker Foiled Before He Could Dress
cross-dresser nearly fools police
by our reporter who knows a craic when she sees one, Denim Sue
The Nude Croquet World Cup between England and the central European state of Chukusdehoova, held in Uxbridge, was brought to a halt today when a would-be streaker dashed across the pitch — although the only spectator Miss Dee Meena — later claimed she hadn't noticed.
Sergeant Derek Crane-Flie of the Uxbridge Police first became suspicious when one of his men spotted a small pile of ladies' clothing, topped with an expensive pair of silk panties, secreted at the base of the surrounding hedge. Naturally the police focussed their attention on Miss Dee Meena, and had it not been for the presence of Constable Plunkett, who had previously been rather attentive to her, wandering off 'to relieve himself ' near the hedge, the streaker may well have succeeded.
Sergeant Crane-Flie described what happened next: "A previously
unseen gentleman was spotted approaching the panties. Plunkett immediately
tempered his frustration by releasing his dog, Doo-Dah. The man ran
for all he was worth right in front of the presentation table."
Sergeant Crane-Flie, his stripes felt-tipped on his arms for the occasion, added stoically: "There was nothing we could do. Had the man managed to dress, albeit in ladies' clothing, we would naturally have arrested him; but you can't arrest somebody for merely running around, can you? I shall be severely reprimanding Plunkett. He seems to have a predisposition for anything feminine. At least Doo-Dah managed to give the man, once he had tripped over a croquet hoop, a rather nasty surprise".
After play was resumed England lost the match 4-3, afterwards complaining that the interruption had affected their game and they had had a weight disadvantage in any case.
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