Aussie injured getting dirty down under
|An Australian woman was treated for minor injuries today after a bizarre accident with a sex toy sent her hurtling through the window of her second story flat and into the path of oncoming traffic in the road below|
Kylie Tucker — an attractive, twenty-eight-year-old masseuse from Sydney — was getting dirty down under with a new six speed vibrator known affectionately as the ‘Roo' by millions of sexaholic Australian Sheilas, when the accident occurred. The 'Roo', whose sales topped eight million last year, is an Aussie variant of the best-selling 'Jack Rabbit' vibrator made famous by 'Sex and the City' star Kim Cattrall — but with much longer ears (the 'Roo, that is, not cum-happy Kim).
wasted no time getting to the the duck’s guts of the incident
when we interviewed Kylie over a couple of coldies at her local pub.
“Beg pardon, Miss?" we asked. "Are youse telling us
you're shagging a dumb animal who hops about on two legs and doesn't
"And then what happened?" we asked.
"Yeah... well," chuckled Kylie, "I guess I was more pissed than I realized, coz when I leaned out the window, I fell out, arse over tit. The next thing I remember is lying on me tummy in the street gazing into these two, enormous, fucking headlights coming straight towards me.”
When Ms Tucker awoke, the first face she saw was that of 42-year-old Bob Brown, the driver of the truck that almost claimed her life. Mr Brown takes up the story. “I was transporting a dozen ‘roos to be released in the bush when I copped an eyeful of this stark bollockers sheila lying in the middle of the road. That wasn’t quite the bush I had in mind so I slammed on the brakes sharpish. My bull bars came within inches of her arse. And what an arse!"
When emergency workers arrived, they found good Samaritan, Bob, lying
on top of Ms Tucker, attempting to revive the semi-conscious aeronaut
with an unorthodox
form of resuscitation.
Ms Tucker told Utterpants
that she was initially distraught at the news that her spectacular muff
dive had mangled a kangaroo, until she realized it was a real animal
and not her precious sex toy.
Story © 2005 Jennifer Gardner. Picture and construction © 2005 utterpants.co.uk / 130105
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