Aussie injured shaving down under
|Australia — an eighteen-year-old paper boy was admitted to hospital in the aptly named town of Rockhampton, in Queensland, yesterday, after injuring himself while shaving his pubic hair off|
A chastened Dave Dickson told Utterpants that he'd read about American girls shaving 'down under' on the Internet and thought it would make him more attractive to girls if he shaved off his pubic hair, adding sheepishly: "My girlfriend, Krista, said that if I shaved she might be able to find me donger more easily."
Dave was a little reluctant to reveal the details of his do-it-yourself depilation to our slim, twenty-two-year-old female research assistant, until she reassured him that lots of guys with only one ball still manage to get it up once or twice a year.
"It wasn't easy," he confided. "I tried to cut the worst
bits off with me mum's kitchen scissors while balancing me baby sister's
makeup mirror between me legs. I ended up stabbing myself in the arse
before I realised that everything was upside down in the mirror."
"Not many," we admitted. "Is that why she cut your left
Dave went on to tell us that he'd been forced to get Danni to dial 000 because there was blood all over the bathroom floor and he was scared he might bleed to death. Surgeons are confident that Dave's remaining testicle should allow him to pursue a normal sex life provided he sticks to sheep and fat, short-sighted women over fifty with red hair.
"What a drongo!" Danni chortled when we spoke to her. "The
stupid wanker only 'ad to ask. I would've shown him how to wax. More blokes ought to visit sites like yours instead
of wanking off to Aussie
Porn stars like Jennifer Hawkins. Then they'd know what to do."
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