blamed for Infertility |
By our woman with her finger on the seamy belly button of Teen Culture, Keli McTaggart
|A recent British medical study has shown that women who use mobile telephones (cellphones) more than once a week are likely to suffer from memory loss, mood swings, depression and even infertility|
The study found that excessive use of the latest generation of tri-band, WAP-enabled 3G cellphones releases microwaves which overstimulate the production of sex hormones and can cause major changes in a woman's body chemistry. The side effects of such changes include tiredness, increased stress and anxiety, facial dermatitis, blurred vision and infertility. Utterpants began by asking the study's author, Dr Joanna Hand, what women could do to minimize the risks.
"Get some labial piercings!" She retorted brusquely.
"Er - I think we're at cross-purposes, doctor," we replied,
"We don't think mobiles are meant
to be used from that—er, location, are they?"
"Why Wagner specifically?" we asked.
"What, and miss out on all those earth-shattering orgasms? Now, please excuse me, I have some important tests to run with Beethoven's ninth symphony."
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