Miss Universe in nude picture scandal Miss Universe in nude picture scandal

By our woman down under, Georgia Prince
Sydney, Australia: Jennifer Hawkins, the Australian contestant and eventual winner of the 2004 Miss Universe Pageant, has been embroiled in a bitter nude photograph scandal

Fearing a repeat of the Playboy Scandal in the 80’s, which ousted Vanessa Williams, speculation is mounting that the organisers will force Ms Hawkins to relinquish her duties as Miss Universe.

In an exclusive interview conducted via our Bluetooth satellite uplink, the tearful sheila told Utterpants: “This is just devastating to me. These pictures should never have been published; they promised me that they would only be used for tasteful art shows. How is Hustler magazine a tasteful art show? They were taken so long ago, at a time where my family and I needed the money. It never should have ended up like this.”

A bloke in baseball cap we didn't speak to, but who may have whispered in the ear of our office girl, Jemma, during a post-coital fag, quoted runner-up, Shandy Finnessey — Miss USA, as saying, 'I think they should take her crown. I don’t care how long ago those pictures were taken. Our contract states quite clearly that we aren’t allowed any nude photos that Donald Trump doesn’t personally approve. All of my nude photos were approved, and distributed accordingly. She broke the rules; don’t let the door hit you on the way out, bitch.'

Jennifer HawkinsSome cynics have suggested that Miss Finnessey's objection to her rival's success may have been motivated by the fact that she would receive the coveted Miss Universe crown if Miss Hawkins were dethroned. When charged with this accusation she is alleged to have shouted: 'Hell yeah! That crown should have been mine; she must have got to the judges before I did. I worked damn hard to get to that pageant. I lost count of the number of judges I had to “win over” with various sorts of favours. Some of those people are pretty kinky! I have been duct taped, botoxed, face-lifted, bleached, exfoliated, liposuctioned to look the gorgeous way I do. The crown will have its rightful place upon my perky, blonde, totally hot, perfect self. Now go away, you are disturbing me with your presence.'

Our intrepid reporter managed to acquire one of the photos for an undisclosed sum — or possibly a night of raunchy girl-on-girl action with Shandy Finnessey. Only time will tell if the damage to Ms Hawkins can be undone.

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Story and picture © 2004 Georgia Prince. Design and construction © 2004 utterpants.co.uk

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