BBC launch Bargain Pussy show
By our man in the back alley, Alexander DeVille
|BBC Director General, Thom Markson, stunned editors today when he announced the launch of a new reality television show, Bargain Pussy, to boost the beleaguered channels ratings in the new year|
Those with an eye for a back street quickie will love the newest addition to BBC One’s New Year schedule. This sexy new gameshow, Bargain Pussy, sets two teams of amateur perverts loose in a red light district with over $300 and just one hour to bag themselves three or more women. A local pimp is on hand to help them with advice on who to buy and how to haggle for that elusive bargain shag. The 'finds' are later shown at a local pub, and the team to shag the most women within the $300 budget win!
Dishy Producer, Lola Dickin-Wright (34DD-28-35), told
Utterpants enthusiastically, "This is the show
that challenges people to turn their lust into profit. Two teams are
given the chance to rut like rabbits courtesy of the taxpayer. If this
doesn't get us back on top in the ratings war, I don't know what will."
The first programme of the new series will be broadcast during February, live from Amsterdam—a popular holiday destination for American celebrities like the Olsen Twins. Gay as a boat host, David Dickinson, will keep score as two teams of footballers step up to the centre circle, while commentator Jonathan Pearce joins in the fun. Experts James Braxton and Nigel Smith will guide the two teams through a series of cheap shags and additional extras.
"Does the BBC have anything lined up for the girls?" we asked
Story © 2004 Alexander DeVille. Picture & design © 2004 utterpants.co.uk /A100106