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Entertainment Satire News |
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Lindsay Lohan Satanic Sex Lust |
| Coke snorting, bleach swallowing, Hollywood wild child confesses to satanic sex sessions with the Prince of Darkness Lorenzo Cassanell reports |
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Talentless Slut Barbie |
| In an exclusive interview with
Mattel boss, Matthew Bousquette, he reveals his corporate mission to turn
all little girls into Barbies.. David Agosta reports |
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Sienna Miller Midget Lust |
| Coke sniffing, bohemian socialite confesses to wild sex romp with a troop of midget sex performers who collectively go by the infamous stage name 'A little Cum.' Lorenzo Cassanell reports | |
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BB evictee denies she did not have Sex |
| Big Brother evictee Michelle Cillicone lashed out at the reality voyeurdrama today after TV executives insisted she did not have sex on the show. Miranda Givings reports | |
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ITV to show Adult Nursery Rhyme |
| ITV bosses announced their new Autumn schedule today, including details of a new adult TV drama based on the popular children's nursery rhyme - 'Jack and Jill.' Mahoney Springwater reports | |
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Sky no longer the limit for contestants |
| In an effort to control the massive
rise in 'D-List' celebrities, all former reality TV show contestants will
now be shot into space.. Donald Twain reports |
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Eva Herzigova Bares All |
| Sultry sexbomb, Eva Herzigova
was in Purley recently as part of a nationwide tour to promote her new
book, A Lovely Pair.. Hubris Cachet reports |
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Animal Big Brother hits problems |
| High hopes that Animal Big
Brother would breath new life into the ailing genre of reality television,
were dashed today.. Donald Twain reports |
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Nadia Almada to return to Big Brother |
| Walking transsexual tit-scaffold,
Nadia Almada, the elated winner of last year's Big Brother, has
returned to the house to defend her crown, this time in the form of a tin of Spam.. Hubris Cachet reports |
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Big Brother viewers tired of innuendo |
| The somnolent town of Purley was
thrown into disarray yesterday evening, when its entire population became temporarily weary
of titillation and double entendre.. Hubris Cachet reports |
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Tom Cruise: 'I'm not Gay!' |
| Utterpants staff writer, Dale Petrie, today received an unexpected press release from former Hollywood 'straight man', Tom Cruise, which finally refutes continuing allegations that the macho actor is gay.. | |
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Angelina Jolie rutted by Chocolate Moose |
| A mysterious videotape featuring highly talented, cock thirsty actress, Angelina Jolie, has been circulating the Utterpants offices like Februarys unsurprising Syphilis outbreak.. Lorenzo Cassanell reports | |
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Tara Reid Tits Out (again)! |
| Tara Reid, left the UK in a huff today after failing to raise an eyebrow among London's paparazzi, when her left boob 'accidentally' popped out during a security scan at Heathrow airport.. Brianna Banks reports | |
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