Britney's Honeymoon Poem
By our woman with her fingers in America's dirty laundry,
In another exclusive, we publish the Honeymoon Poem that has put resting porn star, Britney Spears, on the shortlist of the Booker Prize — the UK's highest literary award
'A honeymoon at last, to get away from y'all.
I remember it well, as she was smilin'
I packed my shorts, crack and bong
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
We took a shower and smoked some grass
Magical nights snortin' coke
Crack orgies under the stars
Friendly "helloes" and never goodbyes
As I sit and prepare to split
Britney? Why?" we asked the todger-teasing tartlet over a can of
Red Bull and a plate of fries at her local McDonalds in Malibu. "Why
did you rhyme 'smilin' and 'island?' Why would you do a thing like that?"
"Look!" snapped Britney, "That
poem was written from the crotch with humour. Ya'll are being a bit
harsh and critical. I was tryin' to write classy porn, y'know? Like
I'm a classy lady, right? There's way too much skanky stuff out there
so I thought I'd, like, write something that was really, like, y'know—"
© 2004 utterpants.co.uk