Britney Spears back on top Britney Spears back on top

By our woman with her fingers in America's dirty laundry, Brianna Banks

Troubled teen idol and former pop tartlet, Britney Spears, received an unexpected boost to her new career in the adult entertainment business when her raunchy new video 'Anytime' shot straight to the top of the porn charts today

Britney (36DD-24-42), knocked off Jessica Simpson's 'Forbidden Fruit' and Beyonce's 'Naughty Girl' to hit the sweet spot. Jessica Simpson, herself no stranger to a pair of hip-hugging, low-slung pants and the advantages of displaying her diamond belly button piercing on stage, is said to be 'a bit upset' by the news.

This is the second time this year that rising porn princess, Britney Spears, has triumphed over her rivals and sent male temperatures soaring. Her previous release — 'Do me baby one more time' was so successful the US National Guard had to be mobilised to prevent fans ripping the capri pants off blondes across America. As one enthusiastic fan from California put it to us: "Man, that Britney is one hot smokin' babe! The smartest thing she ever did was to get outta the music biz and put her booty where the money is. Like, it's not as if we're interested in her friggin' knees, man, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

A spokestypeperson from Ms Spear's management company, Jizz Entertainment Inc, told Utterpants: "Britney Spears is hotter than a boiling beaver on a baking roof right now and you Brits are gonna be hearing a lot more about her."
"Oh dear," we replied stoicly.

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