Fan ate Britney Spears' Pussy
By our woman with her fingers in America's dirty laundry, Brianna Banks
|In a shocking incident at a Thai restaurant in uptown Manhattan yesterday, Felix Katowski, an unemployed beaver courser from Canada, was rushed to hospital after choking on what the menu described as 'Tom Bang Gai'|
Doctors at Federline Memorial Hospital soon learned that the 'exquisitely prepared chicken fillet' which the 57-year-old Britney Spears fan had eaten, was in fact, the hindquarters of 'Felis domesticus' — or the common cat.
Worse was to come when Mr Katowski's stomach was pumped and a short
red, leather lead and cheap identity tag were found. The items were
rushed to the high-energy imaging department where a short, thin guy
with glasses was stunned to discover that Mr Katowski's lunch had, until
recently, belonged to Britney Spears — the popular singing star
and part-time lap-dancer.
Officers of the New York Police Department, who are investigating the
incident, told us that 'Fluffy', as the deceased moggy had been imaginatively
named by Britney Spears, had last been seen in the company of Jamie
Lynn, the pop Princess' younger sister.
When we attempted to contact Britney Spears, her personal assistant
told us the troubled teen idol was 'so deeply distressed' that she was
unable to talk to us. When we offered our sincere condolences on the
sad death of 'Fluffy', her assistant snapped:
Story © 2004 Brianna Banks. Pictures and design © 2004 utterpants.co.uk /160704