Police discover crack in Britney's bottom
By our woman with her fingers in America's dirty laundry, Brianna Banks
|Troubled teen idol Britney Spears, was just getting used to being back on top when a shopping trip with her mom and sister landed her flat on her bottom again|
The curvaceous 22-year-old pop tartlet was quizzed by police officers yesterday after her mom tried to run over a suspicious object in her four wheel drive SUV while the threesome were out shopping. One onlooker alleged Lynne Spears (36DD-30-48) deliberately reversed over an item which had fallen out of Britney's bottom.
Soon afterwards, police seized a small plastic vial and hustled Ms Spears away for questioning. One eyewitness who watched the drama unfold through high-powered binoculars from an eighth floor apartment three blocks away, told Utterpants: "Britney's mom reversed over something lying in the road at high speed. Britney went down on all fours screaming obscenities; she looked panic-stricken."
Police later revealed to us that a crack team of DEA investigators, twenty-six traffic cops, fourteen male stenographers and possibly two fat guys who were delivering pizzas at the time, made a thorough examination of Britney Spears' bottom and found nothing unusual.
"The item taken from Ms Spears' bottom was a suppository containing
Anurex — a harmless medicine — and not, as we at first suspected,
crack cocaine," commented a smiling sergeant Seymour Butts.
© 2004 utterpants.co.uk