Does my bum look big in this? Britney Spears hits rock bottom

By our woman with her finger on the belly button of America, Brianna Banks

Relatives of troubled pop princess Britney Spears are seriously worried about her health after she rushed off stage in Cactusville, Arizona in tears today

The scantily-clad superstar, (36-24-56), has been struggling to cope with her ever-spreading bootie as she continues her US 'Botoxic' tour, sources not at all close to Britney, but who would say anything for fifty bucks, told Utterpants today.

Britney is reportedly desperate to return home to her boyfriend, and former lap-dancer, Kevin Federline, after suffering the worst shock of her career when her pants split during the raunchy stage show. The distraught diva was heard to ask plaintively:
"Does my bootie look big in these pants?"
"Like a friggin' lard ass!" shouted one disappointed fan who had flown all the way from Cactus Junction to see his idol. Britney was so upset she snagged her bra strap on the mike stand, tripped, hit her head on her silicon implants, and injured her bottom as she fell into the audience, where several female fans proceeded to taunt her with: "Lardy ass, lardy ass, Britney's a slutty lardy ass!"
At this point the pint-sized pop sensation burst into tears and was hurriedly hustled away by three beefy hustlers.

An angry Canadian fan wearing a 'Marilyn 4 Me' tee-shirt and low slung pants told us: "Dozens of fans were waiting for her outside. She rushed straight past them with her baseball cap pulled right down over her eyes to hide her tears, clutching her ass. But everyone could see how fat she was coz it took two guys to squeeze her into the limo. Her ass was, like, really gross, man!"

"Britney Spears used to be my idol," sobbed another disappointed fan, " But now she's just a skanky slut with a fat ass."
Her boyfriend, Chuck, nodded. "Things couldn't get much worse for Britney, could they? I mean, first she hurts her knee, then she sprains her crotch and now she's busted her ass!"

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Story © 2004 Brianna Banks. Pictures and design © 2004 utterpants.co.uk

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