Biting satire, funny stories and humor
Utterpants readers letters
Readers comment on: 'Queen revokes US independence'

'Roger' from New York, in the USA, writes:
Please do not be angry with us. There is a grassroots movement in the USA, which I am spearheading, which will bring us back into the fold. We are sick and tired of the Bush organized crime family and our coup has been set in motion. We had originally planned on a direct petition to the UK for reinstatement, but feared that we may have been rejected. Instead, we have decided to create a border clash with Canada and threaten them with WMD's.

Knowing how Canadians love democracy, hate tyrants, love freedom, blah, blah, we know that they will come across the border to fight for American democracy. They love the American people but hate our government. As soon as they cross the border we will immediately surrender and file for provincehood. Once we become Canadians I'm sure the UK will be more agreeable to letting us back into the fold.

'Brooke,' from Palmer, Alaska, in the USA, writes:
Wait, let me just ...get off the floor...and catch my breath! Thank you, there is justice in this world. How soon can you get here?!! I've just sent this breaking news to every able voter on my email list. I can't believe we haven't thought of this before! Sorry, I don't usually use so many exclamation marks,but, I'm still catching my breath and wiping my eyes. Thank you, thank you , thank you. Miranda, you're better than Prozac! As the sniggering twit in the White House would say..'Bring it on, baby!' Oh, and did I spell 'snickering' correctly? I hope so. I don't want anyone to go nucular on me.

'Don', from Illinois, in the USA, writes: My...how quaintly British... I've just got to say that Miranda's article is total genious. This is perhaps the very best satire I've ever read. I'm so impressed, I'll save my insults for royality for another time.

Wny, thank you Don, for your fullsome praise. But it's only fair to point out (as we do in the footnote to the article) that it was one Alan Baxter, from the UK, who posted the original story upon which my version is based, to an internal newsgroup hosted by his employer in November 2000. I only re-wrote it and added a few modest touches. Touches, I venture to suggest, that satirize us Brits and our quaint ways just as sharply as the article satirizes our friends across the pond.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
A Steamy Adult Fairy Tale with all the naughty bits the Brothers Grimm left out
© 2004 - 2006 utterpants.co.uk
Utterpants Satire News Stories
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - a classic fairy tale retold by Miranda Givings
utterpants
How to spot a wanker How to spot a wanker
by Mercedes Dannenberg
Wrapping presents with a cat Wrapping presents with a cat
by Denim Sue
Porn blamed for Sperm donor shortage Porn blamed for Sperm donor shortage
by Keli McTaggart

KKK threaten to lynch Klansman
Ku Klux Klan see red over Klansman
by Jennifer Gardner

British Knob tests sex toy British Knob tests sex toy - Sir Percival Mountjoy gets to grips with a vibrating rubber arse
Jokes, press cuttings, english definitions and funny stories Jokes, press cuttings, english definitions and funny stories
Red Ken clobbers School Run Mums Red Ken clobbers School Run Mums
by Miranda S Givings
The dangers of Phone Sex Phone Sex
Keli McTaggart explains the dangers of WAP-enabled 3G Mobile Phones