'Shelly' from the USA,
writes: I loved your Pussy
stops pussy Play story. Very odd tale! I could not help laughing!
Wow, sounds like a nice toy Jennifer has got there. Puts my pootang
We're glad you enjoyed the story, Shelly. If
nothing else it proves that not only should actors never work with animals,
housesitters should not play with 'rabbits' when there are cats in the
'Connie' from the USA, writes:
I'm not sure how much of a health
risk to women wearing thongs is. Maybe if they didn't bounce around
so much it would limit the infections?
You have put your finger on the problem, 'Connie'.
Prince pointed out in her article, vigorous exercise whilst wearing
a thong is incredibly reckless. One could cut off the circulation to
a woman's best friend!
'Mel' from Kerhonkson in the USA, writes:
How the hell can
red bull get u pregnate i mean doesn’t that mean your kids
are going to look like bulls because it's bull sperm they are just finding
a reason to blame them getting drunk and getting knocked up by some
guy they can't remember because they were so drunk basically they want
money and how can u believe them? Most cheerleaders are sluts and they
just want money so they need something to blame it on since they can't
get any money from the guy they don’t know.
Our readers may find it even harder to believe
that you are so retarded you not only swallowed our bull, but went to
the trouble to tell us about it in English which would shame a pregnant,
'Jenn' (23) from
Taunton, in the USA, writes:
I loved that
story about people becoming teens again. I wish I could do that.
I'd much rather have spankings now and then bear the responsibilities
If you would be kind enough to send us a recent snap
of your bottom I feel sure that there would be no shortage of volunteers
to make your wish come true, 'Jenn'.
'Trage' from Hamilton, New Zealand, writes:
roo brothers are hung like donkeys, so my sister says but nothing
that twelve inches wouldn't cure.
I'm not entirely sure whether you're referring
to the well-known Australian marsupial; the kangaroo, or its near relation,
the wallaby. In either case I can assure you that unless these cuddly
bush babies have rotating todgers with vibrating 'ears' they will never
provide the satisfaction
every girl dreams of and so rarely receives. Our male readers may
like to know that the Wallaby ( Halmaturus), chiefly inhabits the wooded
districts and bushy
plains of Australia, which will come as no surprise to those lucky
ladies who already own a deluxe, six-speed 'roo'.
'Zahid' from Lahore, in Pakistan,
writes: I'm totally impressed by your Anal
Scourge sweeps Britain article. It's so true. I must admit I tried the tradesman's
entrance a few times, only for discovery, but completely gave up asking
my g/f's for it after I realized they were only doing it to please me,
but they felt awful, and had great discomfort during and afterwards.
So I stopped altogether. Now I'm happily married and would never contemplate
putting my lovely wife through this disgusting practice again. Its just
simply not only unfair, but downright cruel. Your site is totally awesome!
'Zahid's letter has won him a guided tour of
Cadbury's production facility in Bourneville and the free bum sticker
shown above for his lovely wife. Remember, ladies, your back door is
designed for putting out the trash - not taking it in!
'Drake', from Tennessee in the USA,
writes: I have recently had the pleasure of reading
your novelette 'The
Day the Earth Moved.' It seems to be a cautionary tale. First and
foremost to make sure you have not tucked
your skirt into your knickers. Secondly, a warning to young women
not to drink brown semen from an Alien with two dicks. Whereas I
thoroughly enjoy it when a lady does the first, I can see how it may
get her into large amount of trouble. Men tend to enjoy seeing young
women in their underwear. For example, I give you the explosion in popularity
of all things Victoria’s Secret here in the US. I would suggest
that only approximately 25% of those catalogues actually are either
mailed to women, or make it to the woman of the house. All in all I
found this story quite a page turner. I not only enjoyed your graphic
of raw alien sex, but the added spice of light lesbianism. Also,
your descriptions of knickers gave me a weird feeling down there. Thank
you very much for allowing us to read your wonderful stories. Now if
you will excuse me I feel the
need to eat some chocolate.
I was so bowled over by your fullsome eulogy,
'Drake', that I had to change my underwear. I am sending it to you in
a plain, brown envelope together with a packet of chocolate hobnobs.
Should either item succeed in abducting an alien with two willies please
call me immediately on 0909-665-1927.
'Brenda' (19) from Warren in the USA, writes:
I've just read your Britney
told to lose weight story. Nice BS story you fucking morons. I think
your site is fucking awful!
One of the joys of writing about the antics
of America's most famous pop princess is the knowledge that her remaining
fans are even dimmer than the todger-teasing tart herself. We suspect
that 'Brenda' was less upset by Brianna
Bank's story than by discovering that the only reliable way to lose
weight is to have more sex; not easy if you weigh 200 pounds and have
a face like a horses arse.
'Rebecca' (22) of Seattle, in the USA,
tell Britney Spears to spice up her act. This is shit n i dont believe
that any of this is true. i think its so horrible that you people waste
your time making up stories about Britney Spears. i think your site
is fucking awful and will never visit again.
You do seem to have your knickers in a twist, Rebecca. I don't know
which is funnier - your reaction to the suggestion that Britney Spears
is a bit of a masturbater, or the fact that you think our story might
be true! Just think, Rebecca is old enough to vote! I swear that if
clueless American girls didn't exist, we'd have to invent them. They
provide us with so much comedy gold!
'Lee' from the USA writes: Please remove your article
on the President. You guys are phenomenal and I don't want you to get
in a law suit or lose your rights to publish.
Our lawyers, Messrs. Grabbitt, Rookem &
Leggitte, have asked us to point out that President G W Bush does
not yet exercise jurisdiction over the dominions of Her Divine Majestiness
Queen Liz II. Consequently there is about as much chance of us being
sued for publishing tall stories about the Texan Tosser as you have
of getting into Ms Givings pants.
Lynn from Merseyside, in the UK, writes: Thongs:
a health risk. I think that the proof is in the pudding. I have
worn thongs for the last six years every day. Well almost. I have never
had any inflamation, infection or lacerations. It could be the fact
that I only have one sexual partner. Or maybe it's because I pay attention
to personal hygiene. Maybe it's just the individuals wearing them.
It's curious that you should mention 'pudding',
Lynn, as the latest research reveals a distressing increase in the number
of cases of infection,
lacerations, 'chocolate tummy' and 'ring sting' being reported by
young women who wear thongs and take regular deliveries via the 'tradesman's
entrance'. Provided that you resist any pressure from your partner to
slip into the back door you should be OK.
'Kira Jia' from the USA, writes:
Sex: why are we so fucked up about it' was a Masterpiece article.
Please don't ever stop illumining upon this theme. Did you know that
the word 'pervert' derives from the Greek 'prevent'. i.e., the Ancient
Grecians knew that if preventatives were placed upon natural liberties,
perversions would be the side-effect? The misled 'more-ill majority'
have got to stop foisting upon this world and the youth, a hell worse
than any afterlife could facilitate. A life wherein one carries as a
temple a sexual identity and yet is denied the expression of it.
It is a rare pleasure to receive such an intelligent, open-minded and
positive response to one of our serious articles, 'Kira'. An author
cannot possibly ask for any greater reward than this — thank you!
'Michelle' from North Hollywood, in the USA, writes:
When I was a child, young girl growing up...sure, there were those in the 'crowd' that were doing a little bit of 'exploring'...holding hands, kissing, etc., however, I do NOT agree with your bullshit about Child Sex! Since the beginning of mankind, young girls have had their periods at rather young ages, which was to accommodate the circumstances way back with the creation of mankind. Humanity has, in fact, ivolved(sic), whether or not young girls continue to reach puberty at young ages, or not. I do not agree with young kids, adolescents having any kind of Child Sex! I think you're a stupid bitch, with a foul fucking mouth looking for excuses for yourself and the rest of the whores in the Nation for conducting themselves in an immoral, disrespectful manner! People like you make me sick!
'Bec' from Durham, UK, writes:
I was Google searching for new ideas for wrapping presents and
instead I found a story that could have been written about this year's
Wrapping Presents with a Cat... Beep the Cat I love you, but no
presents for you this year!!
We're delighted you enjoyed the story, Bec. Much as we love pussies
on this website they do have their drawbacks. Have you thought of getting
a dog? They may not be as much fun but they do stay put!
'John' from Sterling Heights, USA, writes:
I want to see pictures of boobs. Thats
funny how Tara Reid's boob came out of her shirt. can you take pictures
of other singers like haliry duff, britney
spears, lindsay lohan, jessica simpson, ashley simpson and jaime
spears naked or can you add a page on this site that i cant get to see
these singers boobs? please put a page on this site that show these
girls naked with no close on please.
If you really want to see boobs, and you have cable, all you have to
do is flip to CNN or CSpan and watch your Government officials in action.
These boobs may not make your willy hard but you'll be so depressed
over the state of your country, you're guaranteed not to have another
erection for another three and a half years, thereby saving you many
hours searching for porn on Internet.
'Doug' from Wyong, Australia, writes:
I used to be a britney fan but now i hate her im into kick ass
band's like creed disturbed staind cold (NOT COLDPLAY JUST COLD} our
lady peace Rob Zombie placebo so in our alliance of hating brit could
you add a nude section of her such nip slip's and pic's of her ass crack
haning out her pant's.
Our resident rapper, B J Pickle replies: Staind is okay, and OLP, Zombie,
Disturbed and Creed are all mildly tolerable, but what do you mean not
Coldplay?!? How do you expect us to tackle your serious sexual problems
when your neuroses go so much deeper than Britney Spears?
'Andrew' from Southampton, writes:
this bill to ban cold weather is every bit as scandalous as the
war crimes committed by Blair and Bush. It's a total infringement of
fundamental human rights. At the end of the day we should all have the
choice of whether the weather is cold or warm. Surely it's in the public
interest for the rights of every Briton to be protected from such outlandish
proposals? I say we need cold weather — it's traditional, hopefully
the media will intervene.
Well, we did intervene, Andrew. We wrote to
the Home Secretary as soon as we received your comments to vigorously
protest this outrageous infringement of every Englishman's right to
freeze his nuts off. Unfortunately, we foolishly omitted to include
any snaps of attractive Americans wanting to fastrack their visa applications
so it may be some time before he replies.