utterpants
Monkey business at the Zoo
A young woman gets an unexpected surprise!

It was beautifully warm spring day when a man and his wife decided to visit the zoo. His pretty young wife was wearing a very short black skirt and a skimpy blue crop-top. As they strolled past the primate area a huge, male gorilla suddenly jumped up on the bars of his cage, grunted loudly and thumped his chest with his free hand.

"I think he fancies you." said the man.
"Nonsense", replied his wife. "He's just a big monkey."
"He looks pretty excited to me. Why don't you come on to him and see what he does."
His wife giggled and blew the gorilla a big kiss. The gorilla jabbered excitedly and rubbed it's crotch.

"See, he likes you!", said her husband. "Go on, tease him some more."
So she went right up to the cage, wiggled her bottom, and ran her hands slowly up and down her thighs. The Gorilla went wild and pounded his chest.
"He's gagging for it" said her husband. "Go on, give him a real thrill."
So his wife pushed her top up and started rubbing her hands all over her tits.
The Gorilla rattled the bars of it's cage and howled in frustration.

"Is there anyone looking?" asked his wife.
Her husband shook his head. She took off her top , slipped out of her bra and waved her tits at the animal.
The Gorilla was beside itself and tore at the bars in a frenzy of grunts and shrieks.

"Now take off your panties."
His wife pulled up her skirt and rolled her panties down. Then she put her hand between her legs and started fingering her pussy. Then she licked her fingers.
The gorilla went beserk and smashed the lock on the door.

Suddenly, the husband ripped his wife's panties off, wrenched open the door, and pushed her into the arms of the gorilla.

"Now, tell HIM you've got a fucking headache!"

Comment on this joke? Click the button to have your say Get it off your chest!
Content © 2005. Utterpants.co.uk and its writers and contributors. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Short Jokes
Long Jokes
Jokes about Men
Jokes about Women
Short Press Cuttings
Longer Press Cuttings
Sports Blunders
Funny English Definitions
Limericks
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - a classic fairy tale retold by
Miranda S Givings
Wrapping presents with a cat Wrapping presents with a cat
by Denim Sue
Read our Funny stories
Ms Givings Very Personal Problem Pages

Do you have a joke, press cutting or limerick to contribute? Click the button below to submit it to us!

Submit your joke to Utterpants