It was Christmas Eve and a man was about to throw himself off the roof
of a ten-story building. His attractive wife had left him for a younger
man, he’d lost his job and he owed thousands of pounds to the
bank. Just as he was screwing himself up to jump, Father Christmas tapped
him on the shoulder.
"Are you OK?" asked Santa solicitously.
The man explained why he was so miserable and prepared to jump.
"Stop!" shouted Santa. "It's Christmas — I'll grant
you three wishes to solve your problems on the understanding that you
will grant me a small favour in return!"
"Would you?" the man replied hopefully. "That would be
wonderful! Thank you, thank you!"
Santa promised him:
"You shall go home in one hour and your wife will be dressed in
her sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your
return, and she will have forgotten all about her new lover."
"You'll go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and still have
your job. Your salary will have increased by 50% and nobody will have
any recollection of your sacking."
"Then you'll go to your bank and discover you're ten thousand pounds
in credit with no outstanding bills."
"Oh thank you, thank you!" said the man. "What do you
want me to do in return?"
"Drop your pants and bend over!"
The man reluctantly complied. After quite a brutal rogering, which made
the man’s eyes water, Santa zipped up his pants and asked the
man how old he was.
"Thirty-six." replied the man.
"Ho, ho, ho! You're a bit too old to believe in Father Christmas
aren't you?" chuckled the fat, gay bastard in fancy dress.
Joke contributed by William Moore