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Massage Parlour
A cheapskate gets more than his money's worth

A chap visits a massage parlour. On the wall he sees a price list:
Turkish massage £30
Swedish Massage £75
De-waxing £100

Being new to the experience and not sure if he will enjoy it he decides to go for the cheapest option.

He is led into a room and told to undress and lie on the table, which he duly does. A few moments later a 20 stone Turkish wrestler enters and begins to punch and pummel him without mercy. The pain is incredible as limbs are bent into positions they were never designed to adopt. In the pause between two assaults the man manages to gasp: "Ok I’ll pay the extra; I’ll have the Swedish massage."

The wrestler shambles out and is replaced by a tall leggy blond from Stockholm dressed only in her bra and panties. She leans over him and begins to gently rub scented oil into his bruised flesh. Soon the pain is forgotten and he becomes increasingly aroused as her slim hands travel down his back and the massage becomes distinctly ‘intimate.' His breathing becomes more rapid and his body arches rhythmically when suddenly the masseuse packs up her oils and walks to the door. The man whimpers: "Oh God, I’ll pay the extra—don't stop!"

Immediately the girl returns and slipping her hand between his legs begins to resurrect his slightly flagging ardour. Just as the critical moment arrives the Turkish wrestler runs in and hits the man viciously in the testicles: sure enough; all the wax flew out of his ears.

Contributed by B Campestris' brother-in-law

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