A man with
an incredibly beautiful and randy young wife was getting ready to go
on a long business trip. As his wife demanded sex several times a day,
he thought he'd better buy her something really special to keep her
occupied while he was away. So he popped in to his local Adult Shop.
There was a very realistic blow-up Brad Pitt doll on sale but he decided
that would only encourage her to shag his mates. He was browsing through
the huge collection of dildos when the sales assistant came over and
asked if he could help.
"It's got to be something really special", he explained.
"My wife is very highly-sexed and if she isn't satisfied at least
three times a day she'll go off with the first man she sees."
"How about this deluxe 10 inch vibrator with oscillating butt plug?"
"We have this 12 inch model."
"She hates pink."
"What about this multi-function massager? It has ten speeds and
twenty-four different motions."
"Too complicated. She has trouble working the remote."
"OK. How about the 'Happy Henry?"
"The Happy Henry. It has a clitoral and labial stimulator and can
be filled with six different flavours of cum. Our female customers swear
"What if I throw this anal arouser in for nothing? "
"No, I can't see that keeping her occupied for six weeks."
"Well, I don't really know what else to suggest, Sir. We have two
hundred different dildos, with or without attachments, and several blow-up
dolls, but I don't know of anything that will keep a highly-sexed woman
amused for six weeks, except..."
"Except what?" the man asked.
"C'mon, tell me! If I don't get her something really special she'll
just shag the first man she sees!"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the - The
Magic Willy. But it's VERY dangerous."
"It doesn't LOOK very dangerous," said the man. "From
where I'm standing it looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
"But you haven't seen what it can do!"
The assistant picked up the vibrator, pointed it at a blow-up female
doll, and said:
"Magic Willy - pussy!" The Magic Willy rose from his hand,
shot over to the door, and started shagging the doll so hard it ripped.
"How do you stop it?"
"Easy, Sir." Before the doll could deflate the assistant shouted:
"Magic Willy, return to your box!" The Magic Willy stopped,
withdrew, and levitated back to its box.
"I'll take it!" said the man.
"It'll cost you six thousand pounds."
"I don't care. I have to have it."
The man took it home to his wife, told her it was a very special dildo
and that all she had to do to use it, was say: 'Magic Willy - my pussy'.
He was so happy that his wife would remain fully satisfied while he
was gone that he quite forgot to tell her how to turn it off. The day
after he left, his wife was so randy she thought of inviting her husbands'
friends round for a gang bang but then she remembered the Magic Willy.
She took off her panties, lay down on her bed, and said: "Magic
Willy - my pussy!" The Magic Willy was inside her in a flash. Her
hard little clit was in heaven. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing
she'd ever experienced before. After three hours and six mind-shattering
orgasms, she was utterly exhausted and lay back on the bed gasping for
She tried to turn The Magic Willy off, but she couldn't find a switch.
Then she tried to pull it out but it wouldn't budge and continued shagging
her. She tried squatting and she tried to lever it out, but nothing
worked. After another three more intense orgasms she was so weak she
could barely stand. She decided she had to go to hospital to get help.
She put her clothes on and just managed to get the car out of the garage
and into the road. By this time she was covered in sweat and shaking
like a jelly and still the insatiable dildo wouldn't stop. Finally,
after another explosive orgasm, she swerved into a tree and passed out.
When she came round a policeman was hammering on the window of the car.
"OK", he asked, as she wound down the window, "How
much have you had to drink?"
Gasping for breath and shuddering with every thrust of the dildo writhing
inside her, she stammered, "N-Nothing, officer. It's this d-damned
M-Magic W-Willy thing stuck in my pussy. It won't stop shagging me!"
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied,
"I've heard some excuses but that takes the biscuit. Magic Willy,