Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson had taken time off from their busy case load to enjoy a week's camping holiday in the Lake district. On their last evening, after an excellent meal, a bottle of fine claret and a brace of cigars, the intrepid pair lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke with a start and nudged his faithful friend awake.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes."
"And what do you deduce from your observation?" enquired the great Detective with a quizzical expression on his aristocratic face.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Mars is in conjuction with Saturn in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I marvel at the rich tapestry of creation and comprehend how very small and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. Meteorologically, I am tolerably certain that we shall have a fine day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a moment and then cuffed his assistant around the ear. "Watson, you are a confounded idiot. It tells me that some blackguard has stolen our tent!"