A young couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed about to consummate the marriage, when the blushing bride turned to the husband and murmured:
"Darling — I have a confession to make — I'm not a virgin."
"That's no big thing in this day and age," replied her husband.
"Thanks..." continued the woman; "I've only been with one other man."
"Oh yeah?" asked the husband Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Not Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yess.."
"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then made passionate love. When they were finished, the husband got up and walked to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asked his wife.
"I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food."
"Oh!" exclaimed his wife disappointedly. "Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" asked her husband.
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband put down the phone and got back into bed and made love to his wife a second time. When they were finished, he got up and went over to the phone.
"What are you doing?" She asked him.
"I'm still hungry, darling, so I was going to call room service and get some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that," said his wife sulkily.
"Oh yeah? What the fuck would Tiger do?" demanded her husband irritably.
"He'd come back to bed and do it a third time."

The man slammed the phone down and threw himself on top of his wife. Then he shagged her solidly for two hours. When she was finally satisfied, he dragged himself over the phone and started to dial with a trembling hand. His wife licked her lips and began to caress herself provocatively.
"Are you calling room service? She asked him.
"No!" snarled her husband, "I'm calling Tiger fucking Woods to find out what's par for this damned hole!"

Contributed by William Moore