Funny stories
Funny stories and satirical articles
satire, funny stories, spoof news, humour, parody and fiction
Funny stories and satirical articles
Funny Stories
Funny stories and satirical articles
Funny stories and satirical articles to amuse and provoke the literate reader
Listed in order of addition: newest first
Funny Stories
Breakfast Wars Breakfast Wars
Utterpants Staff Writer, Barry Subchimp, discovers that getting his nashers round a fried slice and a hot cuppa down his neck isn't as easy as he thought..MORE
Toilet humour: the perils of Public Loos exposed The perils of Public Loos exposed
If there's one thing guaranteed to fill any woman with fear and loathing it's the prospect of having to visit a public toilet. Miranda Givings lifts the lid on a girl's worst nightmare...MORE
Sex with a very large Woman Sex with a very large Woman
Guest Writer, Robert Levin, boldy goes where lesser men fear to tread and reveals the challenges and dangers faced by those reckless enough to attempt to make love to a very large woman...MORE
Feds bust Spider Man Feds bust Spider Man
Don Pitts gets more than he bargained for when he goes looking for spider dicks with two hot girls in Texas.. MORE
Pussy stops pussy Play Pussy stops pussy Play
In this salutary tale about a rabbit, a bird and a cat named Jack, Jennifer Gardner reveals what happens with naughty girls play with toys away from home... MORE
Do Virgins taste better? Do Virgins taste better?
Our reporter who can't play the virginals, Denim Sue, reports from darkest Wales on why Virgins may taste Better...MORE
Kid slays Santa Kid slays Santa
Our woman who hates strange men coming down her chimney, Jennifer Gardner, reveals why parents should never give little boys socks at Christmas..MORE
How to detect Self Abuse How to detect Self Abuse in Young Girls
Mercedes Dannenberg unearths a fascinating 19th Century treatise on the evils of self-abuse. An indispensible vade maecum for all Parents and Health Professionals in bringing up young girls by hand...MORE
British Knob tests Sex Toy British Knob tests Sex Toy
Derek Tree relates the experience of an upstanding peer of the realm who gets to grips with an impressive new sex toy for gentlemen and discovers that one size does not fit all....MORE
Flaming Parrots! Flaming Parrots!
Guest Writer, Sam Morris, recounts the shocking story of a Performance Artist who learns the painful lesson of never performing with children or animals...MORE
Cybersex: just say no Cybersex: just say no
Our Man in the thick of IT, Derek Tree, reveals that cybersex is not all it's cracked up to be...MORE
Wrapping presents with a Cat Wrapping presents with a Cat
Denim Sue, our reporter who knows when she's beaten, discovers the hazards of wrapping a present when there's a cat about. Please don't try this at home...MORE
Winning the War on Terror Winning the War on Terror
The Management bring you a personal message from the Prime Minister,
the Right Honourable Tony Bliar MP, to the people of Gt. Britain....MORE
Preparing for Terrorism Preparing for Terrorism
Mercedes Dannenberg and Derek Tree have spared no expense and left no paperclip unturned to bring our readers the definitive guide to coping with the scourge of terrorism...MORE
Why My Clitoris is like the American Flag Why My Clitoris is like the American Flag
Our woman with her finger on the 'G' spot of America, Jennifer Gardner, reveals the strange topography of her 'Lady Bits'
Phone Sex Phone Sex
Keli McTaggart exposes the dangers of long distance, telephonic cyber-bonking for the benefit of those readers over thirty...MORE
Anyone want stuffing? Christmas Stuffing
Miranda Givings reveals what a very dangerous time Christmas can be for sensitive girls...MORE
How to handle Wankers How to handle Wankers
Miranda Givings, our woman who knows a well-minging tosser when he comes on to her, gets to grips with a couple of right knobheads in the Cockwell Inn...MORE
Resigned to IT Resigned to IT
Derek Tree has some sound advice for incompetent IT managers: never fuck with a sys admin!...MORE
A Close Shave A Close Shave
Miranda Givings recounts a horrific tale in which a young woman finds herself in a tight corner with a dangeous psychopath...MORE
Are Microsoft certifiable? Are Microsoft certifiable?
Our resident rat catcher, Derek Tree, explains why the words intelligent and Microsoft should never be used in the same sentence...MORE
Tony's Diary Tony's Diary
A revealing glimpse into the disturbed mind of the member for North Texas - the Right Honourable Tony Bliar MP. Warning! Not for those of a nervous or excitable disposition...MORE
Funny stories and satirical articles
Funny stories and satirical articles
Baron Crapulence of Chugley Harvard
Satire News
Satire News
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What's this section all about then?

Funny Stories is packed full of some of the most original and hilarious short stories you'll find anywhere on the internet.

From scathingly witty parodies of the literature of the last century like The Evils of Coffee and How to detect Self Abuse in Young Girls, through stories about Wrapping presents with a Cat, Performance Art and the Perils of Public Toilets, to advice on how not to save your marriage and the dangers of Threesomes, Funny Stories contains some of the very best writing Utterpants has to offer.

With such a wide range of outstanding material, it is almost impossible to single out anything that, er—stands out, but our adult version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, the hilarious One of our Submarines is missing, as well as Jennifer Gardner's many stories, are all firm favourites with our readers.

Can there be a funnier title than If my Pussy smells like Tuna, why doesn't my Cat eat me out? We don't think so, nor have we read a better satire on the differences between men and women than The Penis Paragraphs - jointly written by Don Pitts and Jennifer Gardner.

You'll find all these stories and more listed on your left in order of addition (newest first).

Finally, we'd also draw your attention to the ads below which link to other stories on the site as well as other websites that we think you will enjoy visiting.

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