is the scourge of modern womanhood says
Ezra Franklin Stockley, M.D.
| The modern evil of coffee drinking is the root cause
of all the terrible woes that threaten the very foundations of all that
we hold most dear. Once upon a time, families would come together every
day to exchange news and pleasantries over a refreshing cup of tea, or
to toast a muffin or two in cook's oven, while the master of the house
instructed the female servants in the finer points of oral diction. They
would talk to one another about their day at the schoolhouse, the office,
and for the ladies of the family, how they had cleaned and tended the
house that day. Nowadays however, such stimulating and refined intercourse
has all but disappeared from our Great Nation. Instead we have broody
young girls skulking in their rooms, drinking coffee behind closed doors.
Since the 1920s, coffee drinking has almost completely destroyed all decency and morality in the United States and Europe. During that time, violent crime, burglary, divorce and the inappropriate use of large vegetables by bored American women, have all increased to almost epidemic dimensions—if not to bubonic plague proportions. One's elders are laughed at, women smoke cigarettes quite openly, gentlemen go about bare-headed and girls as young as five and twenty expose their naked ankles to the gaze of passersby. The very fabric of society is warped beyond redemption and stretched to breaking point. Coincidence? I think not!
Coffee, once an unusual and rare drink is now drunk openly on every street corner in every city from New York to San Francisco—and possibly even further west. Entire chains of coffee shops now brazenly sell their despicable wares on British High Streets and American Main Streets where even young children can see them. Thus from the very earliest age, our children begin to think of coffee drinking as stylish, or even fashionable. They are brainwashed into believing that coffee drinking is a perfectly acceptable alternative lifestyle, only to discover too late that it is a fast-track passport to ill-health, unbridled sexual promiscuity, greasy skin and debilitating headaches as my exhaustive research clearly proves.
The British fondness for the mild and health-giving panacea we know
as Tea has so far protected them from the inexorable tide of moral turpitude
and degeneracy which has swept all before it in America. But the writing
is on the wall even here. Every day one sees trousered women driving
motor cars with a thermos of hot coffee beside them while their spouses
wring their hands in horrified despair. Secretaries openly flaunt their
addiction in typing pools and crowds of dissolute young women congregate
outside the new 'coffee bars', only too eager to suffer the caresses
of some vile rogue so long as he will buy them the drug they crave.
All young women naturally go through an experimental phase and older, male coffee drinkers will often take advantage of this fact by seducing susceptible young women when they are at their most vulnerable. They will take an impressionable young girl to some seedy backstreet coffee shop and there they will buy the naïve coquette, her first cappuccino. Before very long, the once bright-eyed and vivacious girl has turned into a sulky and misanthropic miss; hooked for life, if not indeed a hooker for life. Young innocents are turned into lifetime coffee addicts, rapidly spiralling into a life of interrupting their elders, wearing immodest clothing, homosexuality, transvestitism, and the imaginative use of fruit and vegetables for the most questionable of ends, or indeed both ends. Are we supposed to just stand by and watch these perverts corrupt our children? I think not!
Make no mistake, we physicians are not bigots. We recognise that what consenting adults drink behind closed, bolted doors with the curtains drawn, in the dark, is entirely up to them, but to present this evil coffee as being a perfectly harmless beverage is not only decadent, but the vilest of lies that must be countered at every opportunity.
The serious reflections of our forebears, their solidity of judgement,
firmness of will and the grace and fluidity of the healthy bodies of
their womenfolk, which formerly distinguished our proud American national
character, have all but vanished in the face of this evil scourge. And
by what are they replaced? Loose morals, immodesty in dress and thought,
atheism, discourtesy, derangements of the sexual organs in both sexes,
and unbridled lust, hysteria, irritability and insolence on the part
of young persons.
It is certain that the most refined female voluptuary could not have discovered a more suitable poison than coffee for changing her ordinary sensations and unbearable ennui into the most impetuous happiness and transcendent mental acuity for a few, brief hours. What else could banish the vexations of life so completely from their fickle hearts, cause their temperaments to sally forth in joyful ejaculations of delight and inflame their passions with the most exquisite of sensations? What else could accelerate the motions of their weak bodies, galvanise their sluggish digestive and secretory organs into a frenzy of activity and maintain their sexual instincts in a state of almost permanent arousal? Finally, what else could banish the inconveniences of hunger and thirst, remove sleep from fatigued limbs and enable these harpies to evade their duty to cook, clean and wash for their menfolk? Coffee!
But what harm can it do the coffee apologists cry. Well, I will tell
you. The primary effect of this odious beverage is to excite the sexual
instinct. Within moments of imbibing the first drops of this insidious
poison, the most voluptuous images present themselves to the disordered
female mind; the genitalia are quickly aroused to a state of throbbing
tumescence and the effusion of vaginal excretions is as certain to follow
as blindness and palsy follow self-abuse. It is thus that this insidious
evil works upon the impressionable female mind and having deluded them
into partaking ever more freely of the temporary pleasures it affords
them, ruins their health and turns them from hard-working, obedient
helpmates ready to fulfil their menfolk's every whim, into embittered
harridans enslaved to vices too hideous to name.
Their bad humor quickly deepens, until the slightest criticism or inconvenience vexes them beyond endurance. The natural appetite is replaced by a species of canine hunger, easily satiated by the vilest of comestibles, such as pizza, chocolate and potato chips, which simply overload the stomach, increase their flatulence, phantom pains and the desire for repose. Yet these pitiable wretches cannot sleep! And if by some miracle slumber is eventually purchased, they are even more tired, depressed and melancholic upon awakening than they were before they succumbed to the vile poison which has so blighted their lives.
The most noxious effects of coffee become evident among those persons, chiefly unmarried women, who expend their time in sedentary occupations and are much given to arguing with gentlemen about politics. These persons can easily be recognised by their pale complexions, weak constitutions, indecisiveness, lassitude and excitable, nervous gestures. These feeble recluses enjoy, so to speak, but half a life, eschewing the responsibilities of bearing children, cooking, washing and cleaning—as Nature intended—for a life of irresponsible idleness and dissipation.
The minds of those enslaved to this hideous poison continue to degenerate until even the most more frequent and strongest repetitions of the drug cease to arouse their sluggish constitutions any longer. They are poised upon the very precipice of destruction, openly flaunting their charms and shamelessly indulging in the manly intellectual pastimes of debate and study which a woman has no business to pursue. It is an established medical fact that in order for the inferior female brain to even attempt to understand abstruse, intellectual problems, it has to divert energy from the reproductive organs; organs already so debilitated by the noxious effects of this hideous drug that the poor wretch now adds the crime of infertility to her other sins. Finally, if single, the addict sinks so low that she may refuse to marry and bear children at all.
Moreover, the higher feminine emotions, such as gratitude, placidity, obedience and modesty become almost wholly stultified until all that remains is timidity, indifference, apathy, bitterness, fickleness and insolence. Indeed, I have known many cases where the confirmed coffee addict will refuse to perform her marital duties on the flimsy pretext that she has a headache, and yet not an hour later pleasure herself into libidinous insensibility with one of her husband's own cigars!
If the use of coffee is continued for many years, a state of complete mental and physical breakdown is almost inevitable. It will be found that sentimental affectations alternate rapidly with insensibility, precipitate acts with irresolution, fits of explosive anger with complete indifference, sudden friendships with violent jealousies and calculated malice, transient joy with floods of tears, sexual indulgence with prudish abstinence—in short, the victim is on the slippery road to unnatural vice, chronic disease and madness from which a slow and painful death is their only release.
Ezra Franklin Stockley, MD, Bayswater, London, England, 1922
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