The Day the Earth Moved
By Miranda S Givings
Would you rather read this offline in PDF format? Click here to download it.
Chapter 1. Introduction
On a hot summer evening somewhere in a small coppice on the outskirts of Purley a young couple were doing what comes naturally after two bottles of Vin Rose, a deplorable ignorance of the use of prophylactics and a wanton disregard for any passers by.
"Oh, Gerald! I think the earth really moved that time!
Gerald -the - the earth really IS shaking — I think I'm going to come!"
Romola uttered a piercing shriek as the object passed over her head
wobbling like a leaf in a gale. It staggered on through the treetops,
making the most dreadful grinding and snapping sounds before hitting
the ground in a manner the drunken pilot of a hanglider would be thoroughly
ashamed of. The earth heaved and shuddered in protest.
"Bugger!" snorted a hideously ugly green creature as it wrestled ineffectually with the array of shiny knobs and flashing lights before it. Well, what it actually said was 'Varz d'argh b'gulakh!' but as that won't mean much to those of you who don't speak Zilogh, 'bugger' must suffice. Though it does not begin to convey the anguish, rage and frustration that the author of the phrase was experiencing at the exact instant the satisfaction of Romola's desire was cruelly snatched away from her.
By one of those curious coincidences 'Bugger' was exactly what Gerald
said when he discovered that he'd made a mess in his best moleskin chinos.
"Why did you jump? Look what you've made me do!"
"Shit", repeated the green creature as it surveyed the sickly green liquid oozing from the control panel. "The spatial inverter's imploded." It climbed over a tangled maze of twisted cables and started poking about in what looked like a very high tech electric egg-boiler. Actually it was a very low tech electric egg-boiler and there wasn't another one to be had within 6 light years. Yyerg - for that was the alien's name, flung the device against the wall. A well boiled egg was the nearest he'd ever got to perfect happiness and the loss of the means to attain it really annoyed him. He started inspecting the rest of the equipment. One shoddy component after another was either damaged or malfunctioning. "Bugger, bugger, BUGGER!" he snarled as he spotted two elongated stick-like beings gesticulating frantically on his vidscreen. As fast as his tentacles could carry him he rushed to the main door and opened it. He leaped to the ground and crouched down behind one of the twisted landing rods and focused his three eyes on the two entities.
The two entities were rooted to the spot in open-mouthed amazement.
© 2003 Miranda S Givings. Revised 24th April 2006